Big events and parties can give pause to anyone with dietary needs. But over the years I’ve learned how to advocate for myself and navigate these things.

As I mentioned, the most important thing to remember is that you are your own best advocate. Don’t assume that even if you’re going to a party with family everyone will remember your allergies, especially if they’re a new development. If the situation allows, communicate with the host about your needs. I even volunteer to bring my own food, side dish or condiment when appropriate. I’ve certainly never minded sitting out birthday cake, but getting to eat the dinner at a dinner party matters.

If it’s a larger event, like a an award ceremony or gala, I always go in assuming there will be nothing for me to eat. I always eat ahead of time so that I’m not hungry, and I’ll make sure I stay hydrated. There has been a lot of discourse lately about food accommodations at events, particularly for influencer events by brands. Of course, in an ideal, non-ableist world, any event would be able to accommodate those on the guest list or have alternatives available. But right now, we simply don’t exist in that world. The buck stops with the allergy sufferer, and it’s up to you to take caution.

It goes without saying, but I of course always have two epi-pens and Benadryl on my person when I go…well, anywhere. I see events as a prepare for the worst and expect the best scenario. Those of us with dietary needs can absolutely have a fun time at any party or event, it just takes a little extra thought. And you’re not alone.